Riley and Avery

Riley and Avery had their last race yesterday. Riley had to run almost 1/2 mile. She looked like she was dead by the time she crossed the finish line. What can I say, the child is built for power, not for speed. Take her on a five-mile mountainous hike and she's perfectly fine. Ask her to run 1/2 mile and she just about kills herself. I was kind of freaking out because the last race was on a track, but this one was at a park, so they made a course for the kids to run that took them out of view. And parents weren't allowed to run with them. I mean, they had officials lead the way and work caboose, but still. Riley was out of my sight for several minutes in a park with several hundred people there for the event, without the supervision of someone I trusted. But they each got their ribbons and their trophies and are happy.

To cut to the chase, I've put the parental controls on our television. And not for a child, but for my husband. How ridiculous is that? He can watch whatever he wants after the girls go to bed. But when I go to school, the parental controls go on. I don't feel bad about it at all. I've given him every opportunity to refrain from watching horror films and slasher flicks while the children are around, and he has failed. So, sucks to be him. I really wish that he wouldn't watch those movies either. I think they make him very apathetic. He is the epitome of apathy. When the girls go to bed at 8-ish and he stays up until 4 or 5 am, there is no reason to believe that in that 8 hours he can't watch enough TV. Oh turds, I just remembered that he can still watch his violent DVDs. Hmmm, how to remedy that? (Isn't it sad that I can't trust my husband to not watch violent movies in front of the kids!) Perhaps any violent DVD he watches, I'll sell it and put it in a fund for the girls' future psychiatry fund. Or bail money.

The impetus for this action is as follows (this is what I came home to school to last week):




And now some gratuitously cute pictures to balance it out a bit:

So, Riley is feverish. Last night totally sucked. I go upstairs to nurse Avery back to sleep and see Riley curled up in a ball in my spot, so I moved her over and realized that she was burning up. She said she was freezing, then sweating, then freezing, then sweating. It was 4am when I realized that I really should take her temperature because she was frying hot. I couldn't find the thermometer. Anywhere. That's what I get for teaching Riley about warm blooded and cold blooded animals with our thermometer. Doh. So I gave her Tylenol and we settled in for the night. I need to find it in our budget now to spring for a nice accurate thermometer. I let the girls go to 105 before treating, so I really need to be able to trust the thermometer. I bought one this afternoon for $4 and it's such an unreliable piece of junk. It beeps before I even get it into Riley's mouth, then reads 93. Um, yeah, whatever. She's getting hot and I'm not looking forward to another night like the last...

Halloween went really well this year. The girls both trick-or-treated and even Avery went up to the doors with Riley. Every time she asked Riley to protect her. She had fun. She decided a little early not to get any more candy, but was content to walk with us. She did return home about a few houses from the end (and proceeded to play with a balloon and somehow managed to gouge out a chunk of her cheek with her fingernail). When she dumped out her basket, we found that she only had 4 or 5 pieces of candy without peanuts in them. The rest were peanut M&Ms, Reece's peanut butter cups, Reece's pieces, Butterfingers, and Snickers. She was a little turned off by the candy then. I think she's only had one piece and I have to repeatedly reassure her that it was safe for her. We did the Switch Witch thing again this year. I was hoping to skip it, but Riley remembered. She is really good as self-regulating with candy so I didn't really see it as all that necessary, but they enjoy it. And we have so much of our own candy let over that it's pretty impossible to "hide" it. Especially with Rudi mowing through it and leaving the trash by the couch. Duh, the kids can figure it out. Riley has one piece about every two days and is anal about brushing her teeth right afterward. I seriously didn't think they would remember the Switch Witch.

On Halloween, Riley's school went to the Senior Center like they do every year. Riley performed the songs and wasn't too shy at all. Avery wanted her costume off half-way through and then we nursed in the corner (it's hard to find a spot to nurse in a senior center where you won't get run over by a wheelchair or a walker).

Riley was invited to Caoimhe's (pronounced "Kwee-vah") birthday party and she is beyond excited. Caoimhe is her best friend at school. Her mother says that Caoimhe talks about Riley all the time. Riley's her only school friend that she's inviting. At the ill-fated trip to the Nature Center, I think Caoimhe's mom was trying to strike up a conversation about breastfeeding. She has an infant daughter and she saw me breastfeeding Avery. I think that most people don't want to blatantly talk about extended breastfeeding so as not to offend, but since she was acknowledging that we both breastfeed, I think she was supportive. I was too overwhelmed by Riley being ill-treated by the old hag there that I wasn't as forthcoming as I usually am about breastfeeding. In fact, there was another mother there who was shocked that I was still breastfeeding. Well, not shocked per se, but very interested. Her curiosity seemed genuine and not judgmental. She is from Korea, so some things are very interesting to her about our culture. She asked if Avery eats solids too, how long Riley nursed, how often Avery nurses, asked if the benefits of breastfeeding extend into the toddler years, etc. I really should have been a better lactivist and explained about the global weaning age being 4-6 and normal weaning range or primates, including humans, being between 2 and 7. But again, I was way to angry over the old bat to educate. Now I feel bad about it (obviously, because this happened a while ago, and here I am blogging about it so much later).

Hmmm...what else? Rudi has decided to go ahead and have his gallbladder removed. It's supposed to be outpatient, but last time he had outpatient surgery to remove the lump in his back, it turned into a hospital stay. So I'm half expecting that this time too. He has a consult on December 2, which I believe will put the surgery after at least Avery's birthday and the end of my semester. That way I can take care of him and not have to worry about him watching the kids while I'm in class. I'm glad that he's having it removed, since the pain sometimes radiates into his chest and I'm afraid that one day he'd have a heart attack and write it off as gallstone pain and ignore it. So yeah...

Riley's weaning is going well. In fact, I often forget to give her her meds. There have been little tinges of anxiety (a tad bit more clingy when I leave sometimes) but it is so totally 100% better than it was so I feel nit-picky or even mentioning it. She still occasionally says that she's afraid I don't love her, but I think that's more of an age thing. She doesn't worry about us throwing her in the dumpster, and doesn't talk about her "bad thoughts" anymore. So I think we're in the clear. But, really, are we ever totally in the clear with Riley?




So I have a beef with the manufacturers of toys. Riley still has some favorite toys, but she's gradually growing out of the toy stage. She wants things that function, things with an end result. I was at a loss about what to get her for Christmas. I'm wandering around the toy aisles, after finding nothing in the girls' aisle, and I find myself among the "boy" toys. I found a bunch of stuff that I think she'll love. I found something called K'Nex (which is like an erector set) with which you assemble little creatures. Then I got her a small erector set to see if she likes it. I just wonder about why girl toys are so brain-less. It just makes me angry that they assume that girls have no interest in assembling things. Geez, I think Riley would love it. Well, as least hopefully, since I already bought them.

I also got Riley a used point-and-shoot camera. The kids ones are so offensive in their low quality, and she's used to handling fragile things (she used our SLRs, for heaven's sake!), so I thought to go for the adult model. I also got Avery a used set of Thomas the Tank Engine and Brio trains. I supplemented the train set with a few extra trains that I bought at Michael's with 40% off coupons. This train set was a bargain, I'll tell you. It has two or three bridges, tons of track, scenery, trains, etc. I think Avery will dig it. Ah, Christmas on the cheap! Eh, the kids will never know. Oh, and I got Riley some of the Calico Critters that she loves so much. (I had a coupon for that too).

Now I just have to figure out what each is getting for their birthday and what for Christmas. That's the hard part.

Ugh. Dinner is almost done, yet I'm supposed to leave for school in a couple of minutes. Rudi's sleeping on the couch and I don't like leaving him sleeping while dinner cooks, and waking him up isn't reliable because he remembers nothing said to him within 10 minutes of waking. I guess I'll be late for school. No biggie.

I swear there was something I was supposed to blog about and now I have forgotten.

Oh, yeah!! Riley and Avery had their fall series run on Sunday. They both had a blast. Avery actually ran, and Riley ran the 1/4 mile. Rudi came with us this time, since he was working last year.

Hmmm...I was just looking at Avery and she's looking like she has filled out a little. Perhaps I'll buy a scale and see for sure. Not like she'll be going to the doctor any time soon. I just noticed this today. Perhaps she's just bloated :)

Oh, yeah, and GO OBAMA!!

So, not even 8am on the day we got his VA disability direct-deposited, Rudi is already pouting over our new budget restrictions. I mean, we're cutting $850 our of our monthly budget because his unemployment benefits are used up, what does he expect? And in all of this we still have to make room for birthday and Christmas presents. He said he wanted to go out and get some cash so while I'm with the girls at Riley's school's Halloween party, he can go out. I just asked where he was going so I could tell him his spending limits for the month (he can spend a certain small amount on books, we have a certain amount for entertainment and a certain amount for his cigars, etc.) Now he's all pouty. Usually for him, he goes out on the first, stops somewhere for over-priced bagels which he shouldn't be eating anyway, buys a few books, buys $50 worth of cigars that last him four days, etc. We can't afford that now. I seriously marvel at his complete lack of understanding over where money comes from, and how it's spent. He has no idea how much money we need to live for the entire month and lacks the planning to ensure that we are able to EAT by the second week of the month. He thinks that if we have a certain amount in the bank, that amount is available for spending, regardless of what expenses we have coming up that we need that money for etc.

Oh, and Rudi lives in constant fear that we are being evicted even though we have paid our rent in full on time every single month and have never had a complaint. If the property manager walks around the property while he's sitting out smoking and he perceives that she gave him a dirty eye (the woman is nice, Rudi is nuts) he starts talking about how we need to find another place to live because we are being evicted. And we had a lease renewal notice on our door yesterday afternoon (right after the manager walked around and oh my god, had the temerity to write our door number on her clipboard, oh my god we're being evicted) so I'm pretty sure we're good. Living with a constantly paranoid person is not easy. At all. And not good for our electric bill since all perimeter lights must be on at all times, even in the bright light of day. I swear, I need to talk to this VA "doctor" and tell her all this.

Gah. Just a vent, otherwise I'll go all Tonya Harding on Rudi instead.

...or "punk-min" as Avery says. The girls had a lot of fun helping with the pumpkin. They actually stuck around while I carved it, which is an improvement over previous years when I am left to carve it by myself after they become bored. I chose a simple design this year in order to better hold their interest. Fun times all around. Of course, we roasted the seeds and Riley loves them.

So, I got a confession out of Riley. I asked her "Hey, Riley, which hand did you use when you were taking your test?" and she said "this one" and held up her left hand. That's as far as I went with it because I didn't want to give the issue too much attention. So yeah, homegirl was goofing around. Gah. There's a lot of money down the toilet.

We visited Globe Charter School today. I really liked it and so did Riley. Rudi not so much, but I don't agree with his reasoning. He didn't like that it was so "intimate" meaning that it is a very large space with dividers up between classes. He thought that children should feel school pride and that isn't possible with partitions between classes. My argument was that yes, it doesn't have the institutional feel of a concrete walled school, but Riley would have a great educational opportunity, I think. I mean, seriously, there are just over 100 students total in K through 8th grade. What kind of building does he expect? I'm perfectly fine with it. The classes are so very small and the lady who was showing us around said that all of the elementary grades are on the same schedule (doing math at the same time, doing reading at the same time, etc.) so it's really easy to move a child to higher grades for certain subjects if need be. She also said that because they are a charter school they don't have to adhere to the same strict rules regarding grade advancement that other public schools do. I just like the fact that Riley will be one of 23 kindergarteners (in two classes) and will be in a small enough population to be really individual, etc. Going from an intimate Montessori setting to a "regular" school will be hard enough without 500 kids at a new school. It would be totally different if Riley had had preschool experience at one of those larger schools, but as it is I think she would be very overwhelmed. And she is rather adept at flying under the radar, so I would feel better if she were in a smaller school. So I told Rudi that we will go for Kindergarten and re-evaluate at the end of that year, and then continue with the rest of elementary if we're pleased with it. Then at the end of elementary we'll see if she wants to go to a bigger middle school (we're thinking about the availability of sports clubs, science clubs, and such that may be more easily available at larger schools) or if she wants to stay at Globe through 8th grade. So I think our decision is made. Globe next year for Kindergarten. It feels nice to finally have made a decision.

Now to break the news to Golden Mountain. I really love that school, it just won't work for us any more. No one can really expect me to drive 2 hours every day (30 mins there and 30 mins back, and 30 mins to pick her up and 30 mins back) can they? That's all I'll say. I just can't do the drive any more. And Avery really flourishes at home when Riley is at school, so I think I may do more of a homeschool preschool with her and wait for Kindergarten. Or if worse comes to worse, I can send her for one year of preschool. I have a pretty good stock of Montessori materials I can use for her at home. And I'm just not ready to send my littlest baby to school. Call me selfish...

So, we are weaning Riley off of her meds. She started having freaky side-effects. Outbursts of defiance and violence. Depression (yup, in a 4yo). She would curl into a ball and say that she is afraid that Mommy and Daddy don't love her and that we'll throw her in the dumpster while crying that heart-wrenching cry. And she'd say that she only had bad thoughts and bad dreams and just can't have good thoughts. She didn't want to play with her friends or ride her beloved two-wheeler. So we called her doc and are now in the weaning mode. Sweet. She doesn't need it anymore anyway.

Riley is starting to really write words now. Just today she wrote October (which she spelled correctly), turtle (trdl), cart (crt), cow (cao), and cat. She is spelling phonetically, so vowels are usually left out unless they're really obvious. She's doing this all on her own. Strangely enough, she is really only interested in writing (very interested) but she finds reading dull. She did read four B.O.B books, but really resisted. She sounded the words out just perfectly, but didn't seem to be enjoying it, so when I suggested that we stop, she said that she wanted to continue. I think the only reason she forced herself to do it was because I said that reading and writing go hand-in-hand. I don't really think that she believed me. Or maybe she thought it would please me. I didn't please me at all. I don't want her doing it if she doesn't enjoy it. I don't think I'll bring out the B.O.B books for a while unless she asks. Geez.

I had a rather complex conversation with Riley (against my will). She was watching a show about the end of the universe on National Geographic. I wasn't really watching it because outer space is Rudi's territory. She ran to me and said that we are the only galaxy. I told her that there are many many galaxies in our universe. She told me that the show said that there was only one. Well, she watched the show again (she can't get enough of certain topics) and came to me and said that the galaxies that we see are only reflections and that reflections don't exist, therefore we're the only one. Ah, flawed logic. I suppose they were talking about the reflector lens on a telescope and I had to explain to her that reflections themselves don't exist, but the object they are reflecting do exist. Like Riley in the mirror is not real, but the Riley it's reflecting is real. Oh, so complicated. Oh yeah, she also said "The universe is not going to explode. It's just going to get really hot and really dark. So you're going to have to learn to deal with it, Mom. You're just gonna have to stand the coldness." She knows I hate the cold. Funny girl.

We went for the coffin races in Manitou Springs today. It was honestly the most free fun we've had in a long time. Rudi didn't go last year because he was working (imagine that!) but he really had a lot of fun. Usually fun for Rudi involves spending money, but he really had a blast, which made me happy. Riley and Avery also had a great time, collecting leaves and sticks and running around like feral animals. We did buy coffee and drinks for the girls, but that was it. Not too shabby. Oh man, and the weather was fabulous today. I seriously couldn't have asked for more. Sunny, warm, just perfect. It got windy at times and the girls briefly wore jackets, but that didn't last long.

I think we're planning on staying in tomorrow. Money is tight tight tight and the house is in need of attention, as is my homework. Perhaps I can get Rudi to take the girls somewhere free while I clean. It works so much better that way.

So I made an appointment for Tuesday the 28th to go over Riley's results with the psychologist. When I spoke with her today, she said "Oh, I believe I just got her results back, I just haven't gone over them yet" as if it were perfectly natural. I'm like "look at them now and tell me!" but thought I should retain my decorum and just wait. Ugh. I hate waiting.

Gotta run so I'm on time for school. Just thought I'd throw an update out there.

Today,we went to the Pumpkin Festival that was held at the nursery school that had all their pumpkins stolen twice. It was a lot of fun. Basically, we got there and immediately went to wait in line for Riley to get her face painted. We waited for about an hour. One of Riley's teachers, Ms. Meredith, was doing the face painting. That was a nice surprise. The whole time we were waiting in line, Avery harassed me for a drink and an apple. Mostly I waited in line while the girls played. Finally we got to the Whole Foods stand and got free apples for the girls. We missed a lot while we were in the face painting line. Hundreds of pumpkins were scattered about, free for the taking, but they were all gone by the time we got out of line. The girls were okay with that. They each picked out a free muffin from the bake "sale" table. We also missed the free bags that Whole Foods had been giving away. They were their $12 bags, but oh well. The playground at the school is beyond phenomenal. I was hoping the picture of Riley with her cheetah face would show the color of her eyes, but no. Oh well.

As soon as we got home, Riley completed her face painting by coloring the rest of her body. I declined the invitation to color on her back. Now, several hours after we got back from the festival, she's an unholy mess. Her face painting is heavily smudged. Bathtime tonight!

It was also unusually hot today. I dressed the girls and I fairly warmly and we all were over-hot. The changes in the weather are causing Riley to cough. Warm, cold, warm, cold. It drives me crazy, for sure. I never know how to dress the children.

So, Riley asked me if teeth were bones, and I told her that they were very close. Riley said "I really really need to see some people bones. Do we ever get to see people's bones?" I said no, not unless there's an accident. Riley says "Well, I really need to see what's inside people's bodies. I just really need to see." So, she'll either be a surgeon or an axe murderer. The jury's still out on that one.

We had an appointment with Riley's play therapist on Friday, and Riley was released from her care. She no longer shows any signs whatsoever of anxiety. She had Riley using the dollhouse families to determine if she had any underlying problems. She has an asian family, a latino family, a white family, and a black family. She said that 99% of the time the child uses the family that matches their own race. She said that Riley totally mixed the ethnicities in her family and thought nothing of it. She thought that was really cool.

On the way home from the play therapist, we almost got in a car accident. Riley was in the back seat freaking out, saying that her neck hurt because of the car seat harness, and saying that we almost died. After the minor accident over a year ago that started this whole snowball-ride descent into anxiety hell, it would be my luck to have the therapist say that Riley is over her anxiety, and then get in another accident on the way home from the therapist. It would be very reminiscent of the time I saved for months to replace the engine in my first car, only to have it totaled at an intersection exactly one mile from the mechanic. But I think Riley is over it. After all, it was a near accident, not an accident.

Hmmm, I think that's enough for now. The afore-mentioned bathtime is nigh.

Riley at her field trip.

Riley and the raw chicken egg that she found buried in the school sandbox. This was quite a find and erased the field-trip fiasco.

Riley and Avery being nice to each other (for once).

Avery at the field trip. All she wanted me to do was take pictures of her.

Another of Avery.

Riley using her sense of hearing on the trail on her field trip.

Riley had a field trip today to Starsmore Discovery Center. Field trips are always stressful, but this one really rubbed me the wrong way and the more I think about it, the madder I get. The class was broken up into two groups and there was an employee leading each group as they learned about animal senses. Each group had perhaps 8 to 10 kids. So we start off in the visitor center and the lady is asking the children what their senses are. Riley is sitting right up front raising her hand. The kids answer seeing, smelling, touching, hearing, and Riley is still sitting up front patiently raising her hand. She lady is looking for someone to answer tasting, and looks at Riley raising her hand, and instead calls on kids that aren't raising their hands. They offer the same seeing, hearing, smelling, touching and the woman keeps calling on more kids and totally ignores Riley. She looked disappointed, but not too upset.

Later, they go to different stations in the woods, and they learn about a bear's sense of smell, a deer's sense of hearing, an owls sense of sight, a raccoon's sense of touch, etc. Every time Riley got a spot up front right in front of the lady and raised her hand for every single question, and every single time the woman looked at her and called on someone else. By the end of the field trip she was in tears. She didn't get called on one single time. If the women hadn't been an old lady looking for a way to spend her retirement, she would have gotten a serious piece of my mind. I think I'll talk to the director about it. It just wasn't right. And we wonder why girls don't like to show their smarts. I know that aggressive boys get most of the attention in school, but seriously? In pre-school already?

You know, private school or public school, it's all the same. Girls eventually just melt into the woodwork. Whatever. I was hesitant about this test for Riley, and now I say bring it on. That is, if the damage hasn't already been done. Seriously, she already pretends that she doesn't know things. Her school has been working with her on the same 6 letters for the third year now. She knows them! She was spelling words with those 6 letters plus another 5 I threw in and writing them down at home. Whatever the results of the test, I'll know how to advocate for her better (hopefully).

Ugh, and I wish I could say that I were any different, but I'm not. When I'm in class I don't speak up either. I must have been having a particularly sheepish day yesterday, and whenever the professor would ask something, I would say the correct answer loud enough for the people around me to hear, but not loud enough for the teacher. So I guess that realization on top of the field trip experience has really got my knickers in a bunch.

Riley's brain, at the ripe old age of 4, is on the verge of being wasted. Already.

I'm still seething...

I'll post pictures later. I'm so mad that I don't want to pretty this post up with pictures.