Riley
Wednesday, June 23, 2010 by Amy
Ugh, what is there to say about Riley? She got her comeuppance today, that's for sure.
Yesterday we made plans to go to the sprayground today and I asked her if she wanted to invite Matthew and Julia (siblings). She was thrilled. So, I spoke to their mother and made arrangements to fit everyone in our car, spoke about time, etc. All was set.
Fast forward to this morning. Riley decided arbitrarily that she does not want Julia to come. I told her that she was already invited and that uninviting her would be rude and hurtful.
Riley went on and on and on. She said that she doesn't like Julia and won't play with her. I say, fine, don't play with her, I'm sure Avery would love to play with her. Riley then says that Julia can't play with Avery either because Riley might want to play with Avery. Julia will have to play alone. I tell her that siblings are often a package deal, especially since this is an activity that is appropriate for both Matthew and Julia, and it would be rude not to invite Julia. The arguments, bargaining, and complaining go on...and on...and on. Finally it's time for swim lessons and I get a 40 minutes break...Then Riley says that she's going to bring snack to the sprayground and not let Julia have any, etc.
By this time it's 9:45 and this argument has been going on since 7:45 in the morning. I'd had enough. The only reason I let this go on for so long is because Riley has problems empathizing with other people, and I was really trying to get her to understand how hurtful her plans would be, how it feels to be excluded, especially for no reason.
Anyway, I told Riley that the conversation was over, that everything had already been discussed and decided and that if she brought up the subject one more time the trip would be cancelled. Before I even put a period on my sentence, she said "I don't want Julia to come." So, the trip was cancelled. Riley was shocked. She screamed, cried, bargained, promised...for hours. Why does this kid not know when to DROP something?? She could make a saint pop a gasket.
About Matthew and Julia...Matthew has been Riley's best friend in the neighborhood for years. Last fall and winter Matthew stopped coming around and started running around the neighborhood in a pack of boys playing Star Wars. It was kind of sad, that boys and girls kind of grow apart as friends. Anyway, this summer Matthew is Riley's constant companion again. It's nice. They catch butterflies and caterpillars and have tea parties. They go for walks around the neighborhood just after dusk and before bed. It's cute. I'm glad that he's her friend again. Julia, however, is often annoying. She gets along with Riley about 50% of the time, and is more of a friend to Avery now and they get on pretty well. Julia is pretty whiny and cries a lot, but just stands there in your yard and cries, doesn't go to her house. That is annoying. But, Matthew is 7.5, Riley is 6.5, Julia is 5.5, and Avery is 4.5, so Julia really rounds out the group. If she weren't there at the sprayground, Avery would likely be the odd one out. See?
This kid is going to be the DEATH of me!!
Yesterday we made plans to go to the sprayground today and I asked her if she wanted to invite Matthew and Julia (siblings). She was thrilled. So, I spoke to their mother and made arrangements to fit everyone in our car, spoke about time, etc. All was set.
Fast forward to this morning. Riley decided arbitrarily that she does not want Julia to come. I told her that she was already invited and that uninviting her would be rude and hurtful.
Riley went on and on and on. She said that she doesn't like Julia and won't play with her. I say, fine, don't play with her, I'm sure Avery would love to play with her. Riley then says that Julia can't play with Avery either because Riley might want to play with Avery. Julia will have to play alone. I tell her that siblings are often a package deal, especially since this is an activity that is appropriate for both Matthew and Julia, and it would be rude not to invite Julia. The arguments, bargaining, and complaining go on...and on...and on. Finally it's time for swim lessons and I get a 40 minutes break...Then Riley says that she's going to bring snack to the sprayground and not let Julia have any, etc.
By this time it's 9:45 and this argument has been going on since 7:45 in the morning. I'd had enough. The only reason I let this go on for so long is because Riley has problems empathizing with other people, and I was really trying to get her to understand how hurtful her plans would be, how it feels to be excluded, especially for no reason.
Anyway, I told Riley that the conversation was over, that everything had already been discussed and decided and that if she brought up the subject one more time the trip would be cancelled. Before I even put a period on my sentence, she said "I don't want Julia to come." So, the trip was cancelled. Riley was shocked. She screamed, cried, bargained, promised...for hours. Why does this kid not know when to DROP something?? She could make a saint pop a gasket.
About Matthew and Julia...Matthew has been Riley's best friend in the neighborhood for years. Last fall and winter Matthew stopped coming around and started running around the neighborhood in a pack of boys playing Star Wars. It was kind of sad, that boys and girls kind of grow apart as friends. Anyway, this summer Matthew is Riley's constant companion again. It's nice. They catch butterflies and caterpillars and have tea parties. They go for walks around the neighborhood just after dusk and before bed. It's cute. I'm glad that he's her friend again. Julia, however, is often annoying. She gets along with Riley about 50% of the time, and is more of a friend to Avery now and they get on pretty well. Julia is pretty whiny and cries a lot, but just stands there in your yard and cries, doesn't go to her house. That is annoying. But, Matthew is 7.5, Riley is 6.5, Julia is 5.5, and Avery is 4.5, so Julia really rounds out the group. If she weren't there at the sprayground, Avery would likely be the odd one out. See?
This kid is going to be the DEATH of me!!
