Rants
Thursday, August 19, 2010 by Amy
Rudi got rid of his books. I can't say he got rid of them all, but after packing a couple boxes of them, he got tired of it and took them to the library instead. Honestly, I never understood the act of keeping things just to have them. I mean, I can understand collecting, in moderation, but a stamp collection or coin collection, or baseball card collection, doesn't take up much space. At least for normal people they don't. But collecting books (and bookcases to hold them) when you never look at them again is just ridiculous to me. Is it just so that you can say that you have a "library?" Is that a status symbol I'm not aware of? I mean, sure, having a library 300 years ago was a status symbol, but today we have these buildings that are actually called libraries, where you go to borrow books for free.
I got rid of most of my books (and I never had that many) including my Shakespeare, Milton, Chaucer, Sydney, all gone. That's saying a lot for an English major! I did keep a breastfeeding book and a couple parenting books. That's all. Perhaps five books in all. I just don't understand Rudi's compulsive need to drag along untold numbers of books from one corner of the country to the other. I'd say that "he's seen the light" but sometimes he likes to play the martyr and I'm sure his gallant efforts at throwing away his books will come to bite me in the rear later. Well, if I had him all figured out, our marriage would be quite boring!
Riley squeezed an ant farm out of me. But now we realize that if we mail-order the ants it will take 3-6 weeks. Does Riley have the patience for that? Of course not! So now she is harassing me about catching our own ants, like I'm some great ant wrangler!
Ugh, I sit here blogging and I can hear Bryn bothering the girls outside. Did I blog about her? Essentially Bryn stole a big block of ice with dinosaurs frozen in it from Riley (not even the first time she tried to steal something). When I went to speak to her mother, she totally shrugged it off and said "Sorry, all kids do that!" And I'm like, no they don't! The mother even said that Bryn tried to tell her that Riley gave it to her, but that she didn't believe her. So, I stand there and scratch my head, wondering why the mother kept toys that she knew were stolen, and didn't march Bryn right down to our house to return them.
So, Bryn is not allowed in our yard any more. In the midst of moving, I don't have time to be all vigilant about the location of all of Riley's toys outside, and don't need the drama of stealing. However, Bryn still comes into the yard, or taunts and teases Riley from the boundaries, or steps in and out of the yard to be annoying. Finally, I told Riley that if Bryn comes into the yard, she is to ask her politely to leave. If she refuses, she can demand rudely. If she still doesn't leave, she is to give her a warning, and then push her out of the yard as a last resort. If her mother deems it necessary to visit me I will say "Sorry, all kids do that!" and shrug my shoulders. Rudi has been instructed to do the same if I am not home.
I know that a lot of parents would find that horrifying, that I allow my child to do that, but I want her to be able to stand up for herself. I'm not raising a doormat. Sometimes I think that we, as parents, are totally disarming our children and rendering them unable, or unwilling, to stand up for themselves. We don't allow them to yell, or be "mean," or use strong words, or to physically defend themselves or their stuff. They are raised to be demure, afraid of their own emotions, and unable to deal with the emotions and actions of others. I'm not gonna lie, there is anger in our house, sometimes more than I'd like, but I think that my children learn far more from me when I occasionally loose my $hit and then apologize and talk about it, than they would if I just stood there like a doormat while they kick and scream and slam doors. When my children are grown, I want them to roar and be a force to be reckoned with. If they learned to be a doormat from me, I'd be heartbroken. By and large, I adhere to the tenets of gentle discipline, but I'll be damned if I raise my children to think the world is full of people that poop puppy dogs and rainbows, where no one is angry and parents aren't allowed to show negative emotions. Geez, that non-violent communication fad is really annoying to me! Like, people aren't allowed to "want" anything. Like, if I child throws a rock at your head, you're supposed to say "Mommy needs to be safe right now" instead of "Quit it! That hurts!" Wow, that got off-track! Off my soapbox now...
I got rid of most of my books (and I never had that many) including my Shakespeare, Milton, Chaucer, Sydney, all gone. That's saying a lot for an English major! I did keep a breastfeeding book and a couple parenting books. That's all. Perhaps five books in all. I just don't understand Rudi's compulsive need to drag along untold numbers of books from one corner of the country to the other. I'd say that "he's seen the light" but sometimes he likes to play the martyr and I'm sure his gallant efforts at throwing away his books will come to bite me in the rear later. Well, if I had him all figured out, our marriage would be quite boring!
Riley squeezed an ant farm out of me. But now we realize that if we mail-order the ants it will take 3-6 weeks. Does Riley have the patience for that? Of course not! So now she is harassing me about catching our own ants, like I'm some great ant wrangler!
Ugh, I sit here blogging and I can hear Bryn bothering the girls outside. Did I blog about her? Essentially Bryn stole a big block of ice with dinosaurs frozen in it from Riley (not even the first time she tried to steal something). When I went to speak to her mother, she totally shrugged it off and said "Sorry, all kids do that!" And I'm like, no they don't! The mother even said that Bryn tried to tell her that Riley gave it to her, but that she didn't believe her. So, I stand there and scratch my head, wondering why the mother kept toys that she knew were stolen, and didn't march Bryn right down to our house to return them.
So, Bryn is not allowed in our yard any more. In the midst of moving, I don't have time to be all vigilant about the location of all of Riley's toys outside, and don't need the drama of stealing. However, Bryn still comes into the yard, or taunts and teases Riley from the boundaries, or steps in and out of the yard to be annoying. Finally, I told Riley that if Bryn comes into the yard, she is to ask her politely to leave. If she refuses, she can demand rudely. If she still doesn't leave, she is to give her a warning, and then push her out of the yard as a last resort. If her mother deems it necessary to visit me I will say "Sorry, all kids do that!" and shrug my shoulders. Rudi has been instructed to do the same if I am not home.
I know that a lot of parents would find that horrifying, that I allow my child to do that, but I want her to be able to stand up for herself. I'm not raising a doormat. Sometimes I think that we, as parents, are totally disarming our children and rendering them unable, or unwilling, to stand up for themselves. We don't allow them to yell, or be "mean," or use strong words, or to physically defend themselves or their stuff. They are raised to be demure, afraid of their own emotions, and unable to deal with the emotions and actions of others. I'm not gonna lie, there is anger in our house, sometimes more than I'd like, but I think that my children learn far more from me when I occasionally loose my $hit and then apologize and talk about it, than they would if I just stood there like a doormat while they kick and scream and slam doors. When my children are grown, I want them to roar and be a force to be reckoned with. If they learned to be a doormat from me, I'd be heartbroken. By and large, I adhere to the tenets of gentle discipline, but I'll be damned if I raise my children to think the world is full of people that poop puppy dogs and rainbows, where no one is angry and parents aren't allowed to show negative emotions. Geez, that non-violent communication fad is really annoying to me! Like, people aren't allowed to "want" anything. Like, if I child throws a rock at your head, you're supposed to say "Mommy needs to be safe right now" instead of "Quit it! That hurts!" Wow, that got off-track! Off my soapbox now...
